Tuesday, August 2, 2016

The Tinder Games –Date #5

Date #5
 
The Skinny
Name
Anthony Perkins (celebrity aliases subbed in for all; any similarity to an actual celebrity is unintentional and accidental –thanks!)
Date Spot
Red Derby
Time
Happy Hour
Day of the Week
Thursday, 14 July 2016
The Weather
103° (beyond gross –just in case I need to clarify)
 
The 1st Impression
Age
33 (LOL NO WAY! –more like 43, but not terrible looking)
Height
Above middling (I’ll go with “just tall enough,” which for me = 6’ or above, with 6’5” and up possibly being too tall, thank you very much)
Weight
Mostly tight (especially impressive in America for a dude in his condition, i.e. OLD)
Sartorial
Polo & Jeans (BUT, tight with a great haircut for an old guy)
DC, MD or VA?
DC (maybe? He said the Derby is his local bar, so…)
Donkey or Elephant?
Republican (possibly an anarchist; hopefully not a tea partier)
 
The Pay Grades –Over, Under, or Even
Age
On my pay grade (likely Above, since we’ve determined he’s lying about his age)
Height
Above (possibly in the perfect height “sweet spot” of 6’ to 6’5”)
Weight
Even (thanks for hitting the gym, lying-about-your-age old man!)
Looks –Don’t Lie; They matter
Below (but holding up pretty well for an old guy)
Place in Life a.k.a. Level of Adulthood
Even or Above my pay grade (but uncertain and not willing to put in the time to find out… lol!)
 
The Q&A
Did the presented human match the photos?
More or less (IF YOU ADD 10 YEARS OR SO lololololol –know what I mean?)
Who picked the date location?
He did
How was the conversation?
Totally OK if you looked past the conservative, clearly Republican comments
Who picked up the check?
He did (like the good Republican anarchist he is)
Was there a kiss?
No
Will there be a 2nd date?
Mayhaps (but I’ve ghosted on him, so…)
If yes to a 2nd date, is sex on the table?
Most likely not Ever, no, sir, thank you! (lol)
How did things end, i.e. will you be Friends, Foes, or FWB?
Friends (but we’re gonna be Foes once he figures out I’ve ghosted)
 
 
TL:DR
 
Tuesday, 2 August 2016
 
Okay, so this date was only half a month ago (lol). Ooh, man –I really am going to try and stay better caught up. Who could have predicted I’d have so many dates –and none of them psychos, to boot?!
 
Slated for today is Date #10 (10!), but we’re here to discuss Date #5: The Republican Who Picked Up The Check, But Lied About His Age & Name, So…
 
How much can I judge, really? I mean, okay, my pictures are honest(ly me) and only a few months old (at the Most), but beyond that –my profile name is not my name and two very happily married ladies did everything else (lol!).
 
I justified this to a friend last night over dinner:
 
Me: I mean, yeah, my name is a lie but a girl lying to protect herself from being chopped up for fish feed is Completely Different from a guy lying about his name –he is Totally Shady, he’s probably married AND has a criminal record.
 
My Friend: um… yeah. Totally
 
 
See?
 
It’s not just that guys lie about their age (fine, whatever), but their photos are also Total Lies. Somehow, it’s not worse to shave off a few years than it is to post up pictures that are not remotely recent –or am I alone in feeling this??
 
I am more deeply offended by the photos –because you can be old but still hot (that is, if you’re a guy; us ladies stop being attractive at 21, of course).
 
And this was actually the case with this guy –he really looked better in-person than in his 10-15 year-old photos (which also makes me wonder again about why guys choose such unflattering photos of themselves –but also insist how hot they are in them. Um… ha!)
 
Not a single one of these articles makes the point that honesty in advertising matters –well, it matters to me! lol:
 
 
 
 
Furthermore, none of these articles discuss why guys routinely choose unflattering photos. Hmmm… Well, I don’t suppose they’d have any data on how the actual dates (if any) went. Nor would they have any data on what their Subjects actually look like either!
 
 
But, wouldn’t that be interesting? There’s a large data gap / survey opportunity right there:
 
OkC / Match / eH / Tinder Researcher: So, how did the human match up with the photos they presented?
 
Female Subject: Total Catfish
 
Male Subject: What?
 
 
So, anyway, I did toy with the idea of a 2nd date, but ultimately, I ghosted on the guy. I just couldn’t get past the lying about his name thing. And, dude’s a Republican anyway. It was never gonna work out. I had a GF in town from ATL; he asked me to text once I had more free time. I never did. (And I never will.

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