Sunday, July 24, 2016

The Tinder Games –Date #2


Date #2

The Skinny
Name
Dustin Hoffman (celebrity aliases subbed in for all; any similarity to an actual celebrity is unintentional and accidental –thanks!)
Date Spot
Hooters à RFD à City Tap House
Time
After Dinner Drinks
Day of the Week
Thursday, 7 July 2016
The Weather
After Sunset (can’t remember)

The 1st Impression
Age
26 (but seemed older in person, so maybe not 26?)
Height
Middling
Weight
Not tight (go to the gym!)
Sartorial
T-shirt & Jeans (why is it girls have to dress up, but guys get to dress like crap? This lack of parity is UN-acceptable –plus, not sexy! amirite, ladies??)
DC, MD or VA?
Boston, MA (in town for a conference)
Donkey or Elephant?
Republican

The Pay Grades –Over, Under, or Even
Age
Below my pay grade (not necessarily too young; not necessarily too old)
Height
Below (definitely too short)
Weight
Below (I’m not a stick –but I am fit; get with it, guys)
Looks –Don’t Lie; They Matter
Below (I’m not vain, but I am cute)
Place in Life a.k.a. Level of Adulthood
Even (possibly Above my pay grade; possibly Below my pay grade)

The Q&A
Did the presented human match the photos?
Close but no (pictures presented were definitely from his “prime,” which I’m guessing was at least 4-5 years ago –so college?)
Who picked the date location?
I did to start (at Hooters, boo-yeah!) but we wound up where he had 1st suggested (City Tap House)
How was the conversation?
Totally awkward (his being right-wing enough to want to indict Hillary did Not help)
Who picked up the check?
He did (which seems to be a Republican thing)
Was there a kiss?
Yes (awkward but not terrible; just not competent)
Will there be a 2nd date?
Two words: Boston, Massachusetts
If yes to a 2nd date, is sex on the table?
Two words: Boston, Massachusetts
How did things end, i.e. will you be Friends, Foes, or FWB?
Foes (but not enemies)


TL:DR

Sunday, 24 July 2016

Ooh, boy. What can I say about this one? Flaming Republican –of Course he didn’t have Any problem with meeting me at Hooters. Only a Democrat would flinch, right? –or, at least, pretend to…

I agreed to meet up with this one, despite his only being in town for a convention thing-y, because he looked cute in his photos –plus, MIT! That has to mean brains, one would assume. One could also be wrong, but… I don’t know the admissions policy at MIT, so…

//sigh//

Well, the photos. Ooh, boy.

Probably 5, if not 10, years old. His profile said “26” but he seemed 28. I’m not really sure if he was lying. His pictures were dishonest, but that seems to be the general M.O. for not fit, not tall, not hot guys on Tinder (and in general). I get it, guys. I got you.

He wasn’t hideous in person, though. Until he opened his mouth and spouted anti-Hillary vitriol I never thought I’d have the privilege to hear in person, being as I live in The District (the delightful Beltway Bubble) and thought Republicans in these parts were like the dodos and the unicorns, i.e., NONEXISTENT.

Of course, he was visiting from Boston, Mass., an area I had not realized until that moment was a hotbed of hardcore-Republican, anti-women, anti-gay, anti-human being hatred –but apparently… it is!

Anyway, he didn’t go on about gays and immigrants (just Hillary), but mainly because I said nothing during his tirade, let him buy me a beer (at Hooters, of course), and then blithely changed the subject.

Only a moron would talk politics on a blind, random 1st date –especially a Tinder date –but, there you go. No one ever said Republicans weren’t morons… have they? I mean, outside of FOX “News,” I meant –have they ever? Um… I don’t know.

Anyway, beneath the thinly veined racism and misogyny, was a generally okay guy. Like, I was pretty confident I wasn’t going to end the night floating face down in the Anacostia or in bits in a trash can (yes, that actually happened) –that’s what I mean by “a generally okay guy,” just to be clear.

Anyway, I was confident enough to segue from Hooters (which was a disappointment in the looks department –me because the girls weren’t trying the way suburban Hooters girls at least try; him probably because all the girls were (COUGH) black) to RFD and then to City Tap House (his original pick for meet up location, which I actually liked).

As long as we didn’t talk about anything of consequence, everything was fine. It was a perfectly fine “nice to meet you! Let’s never talk again!” 1st date. No real complaints. He picked up the tab at Hooters and City Tap House; and, he “let me” pick up the check at RFD. What a gent!

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